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Saturday thoughts.

I'm finally cancer free, well for now anyway. I have peripheral neuropathy from one of the chemo treatments I had called "Taxol" which...

Second chemo treatment

I had my second chemo treatment on the 22nd March and what a fucking nightmare that turned out to be. I left to catch the BCC bus and as...

Breast Cancer

Feeling a little better today, thank god. I gave myself an injection of pegfilgrastim last night which increases your white blood count...

Breast Cancer

I had my first round of chemo yesterday, woke up in excruciating pain, went to the Dr and am being treated for a UTI. If I'm still in...

Just my thoughts

I'm upset because I can't talk about my childhood. I was sexually abused by my Father and my Mother was a nut case. I never realised...

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I woke up this morning and burst into tears...

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I remember something from my past

Trigger Warning.....

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I remember coming home from school,  front door closed, curtains drawn...Oh fuck... I open the front door and my Father is sitting in the lounge room watching porn and masturbating....You know as you do. I just find it so hard to figure out why the sick fuck did these sorts of things...I'm a Mother and I don't get it. Why would you do that to your child?...Anyway, so he'd be sitting there watching porn...How does that work..."Oh, it's quarter past 3 Belinda will be home soon, time for a wank." He must of planned it like that I guess it gave him some sort of thrill but it made me sick.  I'd just kind walk in and try and ignore him and go to my room. Needless to say I very rarely did my homework or complete an assignment because it was pretty god damn hard concentrating in that house. What I would like to say to my Father: "What the actual fuck were you thinking, seriously how did you think that would help me grown up to be a normal stable citizen in the world?" ... 

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